When life gives us lemons, we often get so used to them that we forget to see any other way. We get stuck, convinced this is just how things are. But here’s the question: what do you do with all these lemons? Do you make lemonade, continuing down a sour and unpleasant path? Or do you aim for something sweeter, like a lemon meringue, finding positivity even in the most impossible situations?
Let’s start by talking about those constant lemons life throws at us. Really think about it. Aside from extreme circumstances, is there something you could change to create a different outcome? What stories are you telling yourself that shape the way you see the world?
These are two key questions to ask yourself.
No matter the situation, you have a choice in how you react. One of the best pieces of advice I can offer is to press pause. When life throws something at you, hit your mental pause button, take a breath, observe, listen—then respond. Giving yourself just a few seconds can completely change how things turn out.
Let’s say you’re in a heated argument with your partner. You can choose to keep arguing, or you can walk away, calm down, and come back with a clearer head. Maybe your boss is making your work life miserable. Take a step back and assess: Is there another way to approach the situation? Or is it time to explore new job opportunities?
I hear so many reasons why a situation “can’t” change, and I get it—I have empathy. But if you don’t put in the effort or communicate, things will stay the same. So, ask yourself: Is this conversation worth having? It’s not about fearing repercussions; it’s about asking how much it matters to you.
Maybe your partner feels comfortable because you’ve taken on everything—raising the kids, running the household—and they know change will be hard. But sharing responsibilities can be a game-changer, for both your mental and physical health. Or maybe your boss has gotten used to you doing extra tasks beyond your role, cutting into your personal time. Yes, the conversation will be awkward, but is it worth it to get some balance back in your life?
For me, after 12 years of working non-stop and losing my spouse, I’ve made changes. I’ve structured my week to have one day dedicated to hobbies, and Sundays are for self-care. This means fewer work hours and less income, but it’s a trade-off I’m willing to make. We spend too much time in the rat race and too little time living and enjoying those we love.
Now, let’s talk about those stories we tell ourselves—our internal dialogue. It dictates so much in our lives, yet we hardly take the time to correct it.
“I do everything, and my partner doesn’t notice. They criticize the small things I miss, but maybe I don’t deserve better, so I stay quiet.”
“My partner doesn’t help with the kids or the house, but they earn more than me, so I just deal with the pressure. My worth must be tied to my income, and because I earn less, I don’t deserve an equal partnership.”
“My boss keeps piling on work, even tasks outside my job description. At least they see me as reliable, so I won’t complain. I need this job and wouldn’t easily find another.”
Do any of these examples sound familiar? Do they make you pause and reflect on your own stories? Whatever comes up for you, start paying attention to that inner dialogue and begin to change it. No matter the situation, you deserve happiness. You deserve a balanced, reciprocal relationship. And you are worth so much more than you might realize.
We’ve become a society so afraid of “rocking the boat” that we put up with external pressures until we’re deeply unhappy, yet we keep going because we fear the consequences. Over time, we convince ourselves that this is just life—and happiness is only for a lucky few.
But are you going to keep accepting lemons, or will you stand up and say, “No, thank you. I deserve strawberries”?
Of course, there are situations—like losing a loved one or losing a job—where we have no control. The lemons just keep coming, and we’re left to figure out what to do with them. And it’s okay to fall apart and sit with your lemons for a while, as long as you don’t stay there forever.
Eventually, you have to look at those lemons and decide how to move forward. Maybe at first, all you can do is appreciate how bright and yellow they are. “I lost my job, but now I have time to rest and reassess.” “I lost a loved one, but I’m thankful for the time we shared.”
Life will give you lemons. How you choose to respond is up to you.